How Long Will Women Sing About Men Doing Wrong Instead of Demanding That They Actually Do Right?

 Queen Naija 

By Mwabi Kaira

I heard a song called Medicine by Queen Naija on the radio the other day and immediately thought, “Oh, we’re still doing this.” Each generation hopes that the one behind it gets all that we got wrong right. I really enjoy watching young girls being so sure of themselves these days and I foolishly thought that they had found the formula and were done taking mess from men but the song confirmed that they are out here still discovering that not all men do right and will treat you like an option and not a priority if you let them. In the song, Queen Naija laments about her man ignoring her lately, seeing calls from “just friends” and him coming in at 6 in the morning. She is frustrated because she has been faithful and says she knows what she has to do and turns the tables and gives him a taste of his own medicine...

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She sings:

“How would you like it if I do the things you do
Put you on do not disturb and entertain these dudes
I’ma ride him crazy and you’ll never have a clue
Give another guy everything that belongs to you
I’ma call up Brian, I’ma FaceTime Ryan
I’ma text Lorenzo and I’ma leave you cryin’
Don’t get it twisted I can play this game too
How would you like it if I did the same to you, same to you yeah?”

Ciara in 'Like a Boy' video

This sentiment has been repeated over and over by frustrated women in songs. Ciara wished she could sometimes act like a boy and run the street, keep a straight face while lying, keep an airtight alibi and be out till 4 in the morning on her 2006 song Like A Boy.

Beyonce in 'If I Were a Boy' video

Beyonce continued that sentiment in 2008 with If I Were Boy and sang about drinking beers with the guys, chasing after girls, kicking it with who they wanted and never getting confronted for it cause the guys would stick up for him. The message is clear; women are frustrated by men not caring about hurting them and some men just don’t have the capacity to be accountable for the wrong they do. Women feel like showing men their actions by repeating them are they only way to make them pay.

It’s a fact that most men can’t handle being mis-treated once the tables are turned. The gender status quo has set it up this way. Very few people call men out for their messed up behavior towards women and are instead celebrated for reckless behavior. As I listened to Queen Naija’s song I wondered why we keep wishing, willing and waiting for the these men to do right all the while allowing the behavior that brings us to this point. Why can’t we instead call men out on their foolishness and refuse to put up with it? When will we know our worth? Can we stop wishing for scenario’s of giving them a taste of their own medicine or changing genders for the day and just stand in our power and say, 'Move on, Sir, we are not doing this over here?' Because it’s not about wishing we were a boy it’s about accepting that we’re queens.

Are you frustrated with songs that mis the mark? Share some.

Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world.  She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993.  Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy.  She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon.  Keep up with her athttp://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com

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