Instant Ways to Calm Yourself Down When You're Mad AF

Q: ‘Nikki, as a busy mom and business woman, when you’re on the go or frustrated and tired because of a crying baby/hubby working your nerves /dealing with deadlines /etc (lol) and your mind is racing on the externals around you and what’s coming up—how do you bring it all back to center yourself and manifest the life you want to live?’ –WB

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A: After years of practicing different centering techniques and then getting confused about what to do when problems came up (too many options), I decided that it was best to ride one pony and stick with it. Now, when shit gets real, which is everyday, I always, already know which practice to do to find my way back home. Home is my ‘center’. And the more I practice riding the same pony, the easier it gets and the more I come to trust it.  Right now, that pony is ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’. And when I repeat it silently, no matter what seeming problem is popping off, I can ride that pony right on home, and all is well.

But what works for me may not work for you. I’m going to give you my short list of the most effective ‘ponies’ and once you pick one, ride her and her alone. Also, make a note in your phone that says, ‘for when I’m mad af’. And type out what you’re supposed to do when you’re upset. It’s so helpful to be reminded in the moment. I made my ‘for when I’m mad af’ instructions my homescreen on my phoneso I can get to it quick, lol. I’ve got a lot of triggers!

Remember, your only goal is to return 'home' in every moment.  To restore your inner world to calmness and peace.  There are tons of access points but here are a few that have worked for me:

1. Stay where your feet are – ‘cause your feet can’t be in the past or the future, they can only ever be HERE, NOW. And when you’ve found your feet, thoughts cease and you realize you’re home. And home feels good. Stay there.

2. If you feel bad, something you’re thinking is WRONG. For instance, the thought may come, ‘I’m never going to feel better, this is hopeless’. This thought makes you feel bad not because it is true but because it is not true! Your higher self/the universe/life/GOD doesn’t agree with your assessment. Once you recognize that, you’re home. And home feels good. Stay there.

3. When something is working your nerves, STOP and ask yourself, ‘what do I want from this situation?’ This redirects your mind to a more positive train of thought. Abraham Hicks calls it pivoting. For instance, if Gene is getting on my nerves, I’ll stop listening to him for a second and ask myself, ‘what do I want from this situation?’ and the answer bubbles up on its own—‘peace’. And I instantly feel relief. And then I’m home. And home feels good. And I stay there.

4. When you become aware of an upsetting or concerning thought, realize that you’re only aware of it because it’s outdated. You already leveled on it, that’s why you can see it in the first place! It doesn’t come up so you can dwell on it and worry about it, it comes up so you can dismiss it on sight. Then stay in that recognition. It feels good. You’re home. Stay there.

Your other self,
Nik

P.s. keep sending me questions! It keeps me focused!

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