Bill W. Brazil Blog: Contest: You Might Be Primal If…

Monday, June 18, 2018

Contest: You Might Be Primal If…

The Prize:

The full collection of Primal Kitchen® Bars…

12 PRIMAL KITCHEN Chocolate Hazelnut Bars: The PRIMAL KITCHEN Chocolate Hazelnut Bar is the coveted combination of chocolate and hazelnut we all remember and love, and it’s guilt-free to boot. Nutritional bonus: it’s packed with beneficial healthy fats, 15 grams of protein and low in carbs and sugar (only 3 grams). To craft the perfect high-protein, low-sugar bar, we’ve toasted our hazelnuts for sweet aromatic flavor and crisp, crunchy texture, and paired them with unsweetened chocolate.

12 PRIMAL KITCHEN Macadamia Sea Salt Bars: Who doesn’t love the distinctly buttery, sweet flavor of macadamia nuts with a hint of sea salt? PRIMAL KITCHEN Macadamia Sea Salt Bars were created with Mark’s favorite nut in mind and contain only 12 grams of carbs—the lowest carb bar in the PRIMAL KITCHEN lineup!

12 PRIMAL KITCHEN Dark Chocolate Almond Bars: Turkish almonds and roasted pumpkin seeds are enrobed in a dark chocolate, chewy, caramel coating with an added touch of coconut for a subtly sweet taste and mightily beneficial impact on your health. All PRIMAL KITCHEN protein bars are made with grass-fed collagen protein from Brazil. Collagen has been shown to help improve joint mobility, improve sleep quality, support skin, hair and nail growth, and enhance digestion.*

12 PRIMAL KITCHEN Coconut Cashew Bars: What do you get in a PRIMAL KITCHEN Coconut Cashew Bar? Monounsaturated fats for heart health, prebiotic fiber for digestive health, plus antioxidants, minerals and 15 grams of protein from grass-fed collagen. That’s more collagen than a cup of bone broth! Cashews, almonds and pumpkin seeds satiate with a nutty crunch, while coconut imbues our bars with a creamy, sweet flavor.

The Contest (an Oldie but a Goodie):

If you were alive in the mid-1990’s, you may remember comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s empire of “You might be a redneck if…” humor. Today I’m looking for “You might be Primal if…” jokes. Think one up and leave it in the comment board.

Examples:

You might be Primal if you’ve been banned from your local grocery store for repeatedly violating the “No shirt, no shoes, no service” policy.
You might be Primal if you’ve never used an elevator. Ever.
You might be Primal if you prefer your apple with worms.
You might be Primal if you accidentally broke your neighbor’s second story window with a kettlebell.
You might be Primal if every butcher in America can recognize you on the spot.
You might be Primal if you measure friends, relatives, and children not by the mettle of their character, but by how far you could throw them.
You might be Primal if you’ve started to use Tabata intervals for dish washing, shopping, shaving, and dating.
You might be Primal if you make guests take off their shoes before leaving the house.
You might be Primal if you measure time by the number of cows you’ve consumed since an event occurred… “When did we take that trip to Portland?” “Oh, that was about 3 cows ago.”

Eligibility:

Anyone in the world can enter, though this prize may only be available to U.S. contestants. In the case of an international winner, substitute prizes of equal value will be shipped.

The Contest End Time:

Tuesday, June 18th, 2018 at Midnight PDT

How the Winner Will Be Determined:

I’ll pick a handful of my favorites and let all of you decide the winner through a reader poll.