“What goes on in this house stays in this house.” We drill this lesson into our kids without even questioning it because we don’t want folks knowing our business — and we all know kids can talk. However, when we impart these words to our kids we could unknowingly be doing them more harm than good. Continue
Author and mother of two, Antoinette White, discovered this a few years back when she had an eye-opening experience with her then-teenage son. It was early morning and after spending a few days with his dad- they were divorced- he had come home to take a shower before school. Annoyed that he didn’t go straight to school from his dad’s place, she screamed, “You’re going to be late!” to which he replied, “I haven’t showered in two days!” Turns out, his father’s utilities were turned off. When she asked him why he didn’t tell her, he repeated back the same words she’d always told him: “What goes on in this house stays in this house.” So that meant not telling her his dad's business. It was then that she realized the limitations of silencing our kids about what goes on at home. But it didn’t end there…she realized that this silencing is what kept her from telling anyone that she was being sexually abused by her father from six to 12 years old.
“I couldn’t tell my mom, and I wanted to tell my 4th grade teacher, because we had a really goodrelationship, but I felt ashamed and didn’t want it to change the way she felt about me,” Antoinette recalled. Eventually, she did tell her mom, and her teacher, and it was in the telling that she found the healing.
“Telling released the strong hold and burden I had to carry as a little girl,” she explained. “It also brought me joy to know my mom and family were there for support.”
Today, Antoinette continues to tell her story of sexual abuse and healing in a book she wrote called “Who’s Protecting Me?” She also travels the US and as far as Ghana to speak to young girls on the topic. It’s so rare that they hear someone speaking so openly and publicly that they often ask her why she’s telling her story? Antoinette replies, “Because someone here is being abused and she’s not telling. I want her to know that she’s not alone.”
She’s certainly not. According to statistics:
And while sexual abuse cases are reported up to 80,000 times a year in the US, the number of unreported cases is far greater because children are afraid to tell anyone what has happened.
Antoinette has discovered that girls feel comfortable sharing with her that they’ve been sexually abused, but they won’t tell anyone else in their home, family, community or even church. So what’s the answer?
“It’s vital that we stop making this blanket statement to kids that they can’t speak to anyone about what is happening at home because kids can’t discern what really needs to be told. Give them ‘safe’ people they can talk to outside of the home like grandparents, aunts, church members, or Godparents if they ever feel afraid or if they are being harmed in any way. At home, make sure to create an environment where boys and girls feel safe and encouraged to talk no matter what the topic.”
After the incident with her son, Antoinette started talking to her kids about everything from sex and using condoms to being entrepreneurs. And now that they’re grown she’s still talking, and listening.
For more on author and motivational speaker Antoinette White, visit AntoinetteWhite.com
Whenever I getme-time, I choose to spend it on the roof sipping Red Tree Pinot Noir, reading my kindle, meditating or sneaking in an episode of The HandMaid's Tale (just started it... where the hell is Poussey?!)--definitely not deep conditioning, detangling, twisting and re-twisting. But I missed my curls and this morning as Gia got dressed for school, she gleefully noted,'you're not straightnikki anymore, you're curlynikki again!'
I've been out of the game for a minute, tho. What are the best curl creams now? I used Ouidad's new Featherlight Styling Cream because that's all I had on deck (they sent it a few weeks back). It's pretty decent. Can't give a full review yet, but I like to consistency and the shiny, non-crunchy, fluffy results. I made 20 twists on damp hair (let it dry a bit in a t-shirt) and rolled the ends on perm rods. Twist-n-Curl throwback! What are you using right now? And how do you rock your hair when you're in need of a break?
from Natural Hair Care | Curly Nikki http://ift.tt/2xGl8Sv
When it comes to your hair, you want it to be as healthy as possible. Most people understand the connection between the foods we eat and the way we feel. Did you know the foods you eat are just as important in the way you look, too? This should come as no surprise to anyone that a well-balanced diet is key to looking and feeling your best. However, there have been some new studies which look at the role of Vitamin D in particular as related to healthy hair. While it takes several different elements of nutrition to get great locks, there are many reasons to add more Vitamin D for healthy hair.
Continue Recent studies are showing a direct link between vitamin D and hair growth. Whether you suffer from a hair loss condition and are looking to regenerate some strands, or you simply want to add some inches, this nutrient may be the answer. A study published in Journal of Investigative Dermatology confirmed a connection between vitamin D and the ability to create new growth at the follicle level. Studies have also been performed to look at not just the inability to grow hair, but also whether or not Vitamin D plays a role in hair loss. A study in The Journal of Biological Chemistry found that vitamin D receptors failing can cause alopecia which is a medical condition of hair loss. Hair grows in a hair cycle staging method. The anagen is the growth phase, followed by catagens which is the regressing stage, and then finally followed by the telogen stage also called the resting stage. There are now studies which support the fact that vitamin D production plays a role in both the anagen (growth) phase, as well as the telogen (resting) stage.
While the main goal of vitamin D is to support bone health, the abilities of this powerhouse are becoming more and more evident in terms of hair health. Before you rush out to stock up on supplements, there are a few things to keep in mind regarding vitamin D for healthy hair. The body naturally produces this vitamin provided you do not have a deficiency. When the body comes in contact with direct sunlight, vitamin D is naturally produced within the body and then transferred to meet the needs of your bones, teeth, hair, and other functions. It can also be found in certain foods such as eggs, tuna, salmon, milk, and cheese. If you are concerned about your vitamin D levels, you should consult your doctor before taking a supplement since they can provide you with safe lifestyle changes to make in order to get the right levels of vitamin D. Sources http://ift.tt/2x1Yzpg http://ift.tt/2xLiAUF
from Natural Hair Care | Curly Nikki http://ift.tt/2k9O8ib
Good morning, folks. With next week’s The Keto Reset Diet release, I’ve got keto on the mind today—unsurprisingly. I’ve had a lot of questions lately on duration. As I’ve mentioned before, a good six weeks of ketosis puts in place all the metabolic machinery for lasting adaptation (those extra mitochondria don’t evaporate if/when you return to traditional Primal eating).
But what about the other end of the issue? How long is too long? I don’t do this often, but today I’m reposting an article from a couple of years ago on this very topic. I’ve added a few thoughts based on my recent experience. See what you think, and be sure to share any lingering questions on the question of keto timing and process. I’ll be happy to answer them in upcoming posts and Dear Mark columns.
Every day I get links to interesting papers. It’s hard not to when thousands of new studies are published every day and thousands of readers deliver the best ones to my inbox. And while I enjoy thumbing through the links simply for curiosity’s sake, they can also seed new ideas that lead to research rabbit holes and full-fledged posts. It’s probably the favorite part of my day: research and synthesis and the gestation of future blogs. The hard part is collecting, collating, and then transcribing the ideas swirling around inside my brain into readable prose and hopefully getting an article out of it that I can share with you.
A while back I briefly mentioned a paper concerning a ketone metabolite known as beta-hydroxybutyrate, or BHB, and its ability to block the activity of a set of inflammatory genes. This particular set of genes, known as the NLRP3 inflammasome, has been linked to Alzheimer’s disease, atherosclerosis, metabolic syndrome, and age-related macular degeneration. In other words, it’s in our best interest to avoid its chronic, pathogenic activation, and it looks like going into ketosis can probably help in that respect.
One thing led to another, and this paper got me thinking: once we “go into ketosis,” how long should we stay? If some is good, is more better? Is there a point where the benefits slow and the downsides accrue?
We absolutely know that ketones, particularly BHB, do lots of cool things for us. There’s the NLRP3 inflammasome inhibition, for one. There’s also the effect it has on brain health and function, particularly in the context of neurodegenerative diseases and other brain conditions.
Brain Aging:
Whether it’s severe hypoglycemia in a live rat or direct glucose deprivation of cortical cells in a petri dish, the addition of BHB protects against neuronal death, preserves energy levels, and lowers reactive oxygen species.
In an animal model of Cockayne syndrome, a condition characterized by premature aging, short stature, and early death (about age 10 in most human children with it), increasing BHB through ketosis postpones brain aging.
There’s also evidence that patients with bipolar — a disorder sharing certain neurobiological pathways and effective therapies with epilepsy — can also benefit from ketosis. Recent case studies show complete remission of symptoms in two patients as long as they adhered to their diets (which were fairly Primal-friendly, for what it’s worth).
Parkinson’s disease patients who adhered to a ketogenic diet saw improvements in their Unified Parkinson’s Disease Rating Scale scores.
Brain Function:
Type 1 diabetics who experience reduced cognitive function because of low blood sugar see those deficits erased by increasing BHB through dietary medium chain triglycerides (the same fats found in coconut oil).
In memory impaired adults, some with Alzheimer’s, BHB improved cognition. Scores improved in (rough) parallel with rising ketones.
A ketone-elevating agent (purified medium chain triglycerides) improved cognition in patients with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s.
A very low-carb diet improved memory in older adults. Again, ketones tracked with improvements.
Mitochondrial levels of the endogenous antioxidant glutathione increase on a ketogenic diet; this is likely a major reason for many of its beneficial effects.
It’s quite clear why constant ketosis is attractive to people who read about (and experience for themselves) the benefits of BHB and ketosis in general: There don’t appear to be many downsides. Improved brain health? Increased antioxidant capacity? Inhibition of an inflammatory set of genes involved in the worst kinds of degenerative diseases? What’s not to love? Why wouldn’t someone remain indefinitely ketogenic?
Ketosis also activates the NRF2 pathway — a set of genes that regulate the body’s detoxification, antioxidant, and stress response systems — by initially increasing systemic oxidative stress. If that sounds a bit like hormesis, you’d be right. Ketosis, at least in the early stages, exerts some of its beneficial effects via hormetic stress. Various other stressors also activate NRF2, like plant polyphenols from foods like blueberries and green tea, potent spices like turmeric, intense exercise, and intermittent fasting. These all improve our health by triggering our stress resistance pathways and making us grow stronger for it, but they can also be taken to an extreme and become negative stressors.
Consider intermittent fasting and exercise. While the most famous way to increase BHB is to go on a ketogenic diet, it’s not the only way. Both fasting and exercise also do the trick:
A properly-executed fast puts you into full-blown ketosis. In healthy adults, two days of fasting increases brain BHB almost 12-fold (and almost 20-fold after 3 days). Even just an eight hour fast, AKA a good night’s sleep, will put you into ketosis and increase BHB (PDF) if you have strong metabolic health.
Exercise-mediated increases of BHB are a good barometer for the amount of fat a person will lose during a workout program. The more body fat you carry, the greater the elevation in BHB and the more weight you’ll lose.
What do you notice?
These are both transient states that grow problematic when extended indefinitely.
You can’t fast forever. That’s called starvation. And, eventually, dying.
Instead, you fast for 12, 16, 24, or on the very rare occasion 36 hours, and resume your normal diet after the fasting period has ended. You introduce an acute bout of food deprivation to upregulate your fat burning, trigger cellular autophagy, and generate ketone bodies.
You can’t train every waking hour. That’s called working in a forced labor camp, and it too leads to very poor health.
Instead of training 12 hours a day, you sprint, or lift weights, swing a kettlebell really intensely, or any other type of training two or three times a week. Then, you rest and recover and eat, and grow stronger, more fit, and faster in the interim.
Ketosis isn’t fasting. It’s not starvation. You’re still eating, although your appetite may be reduced (which is why many people lose weight from ketogenic diets). You’re still taking in nutrients, even if glucose isn’t among them. And ketosis isn’t anywhere near as acutely stressful as a strong training session. But I think the principle stands: these are all stressors that exert benefits, at least in part, along the hormetic pathway. And when it comes to hormetic stressors, too much of a good thing usually isn’t very good.
What Does This Mean for Indefinite, Long-Term Ketogenic Dieting?
If you’ve got a legitimate health condition that responds well to ketosis, all bets are off. There’s evidence that people can thrive on good ketogenic diets for at least five years without incurring any serious side effects. For controlling epilepsy, there’s nothing better than a strict ketogenic diet maintained long term to quell the overexcited brain. For any of the neurodegenerative diseases, like Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s, ketogenic diets look very promising and are worth trying. It even looks promising for bipolar disorder. If you’ve got a problem that ketosis helps or fixes, go for it. It’s helping you, and there’s no mistaking that.
My personal hunch (and I’ve said this for as long as I can remember) is that indefinite ketosis is unnecessary and perhaps even undesirable for most healthy people, and that occasional, even regular dips into ketosis (through fasting, very low-carb cycles, intense exercise) are preferable and sufficient. That way, you get the benefits of cyclical infusions of BHB and other ketones without running afoul of any potential unforeseen negative effects.
Plus, cycling your ketosis means you can eat berries and stone fruits when in season, and enjoy those otherworldly-delicious purple sweet potatoes without worrying. Personally, I like food too much to go full-on, indefinite keto. You may not, and that’s okay.
If you’re thriving on a ketogenic diet, and have been for some time, keep it up. No one can take that away from you, and the studies indicate it should be safe. I certainly know people who have lived a keto lifestyle for years without issue.
But if you don’t have to remain in ketosis to resolve or stave off a health condition, if you’re just doing it to do it or for yet-to-be-realized benefits, consider rethinking your stance. And if ketosis doesn’t agree with your health or your personal performance goals, then don’t consider it an obligation.
Because the goal of keto isn’t keto itself. It’s the metabolic reset that confers a potent and enduring flexibility. It’s the recalibration of inflammatory patterns along with other aforementioned benefits. How we customize our keto (or more traditional Primal) approaches should ultimately serve optimal personal health, not technically-minded dogma.
That’s it for today, folks! What about you? If anyone’s been on a long-term ketogenic diet, I’d love to hear how it’s worked for you in the comments below. Thanks for reading!
I met Gene the first day of undergrad in the middle of nowhere Missouri. We’ve been rocking for 16 years now, married for 9. We’ve been pregnant 3 times but we have 2 children.
Continue>>> After having Gia, we never actively tried for more, but we weren’t actively preventing either. I always knew when I was ovulating and other than the pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage about 3 years after Gia’s birth, we had it down to a whole, entire science. The talk of more kids would come up occasionally, but then we’d decide to go to Africa, or buy another Benz, or do Christmas in Japan or move to D.C. We loved the flexibility of the one ‘little’ and had relaxed into our three-person family. Fast forward to last May. I was on my way to St. Louis for my sister’s bachelorette party early on the 27th and Gene wanted to send me off right. But it was too right and I told my sister that night when I got to town—I was like, I’m definitely pregnant and 9 months later, here comes Max’s ass. So with our little family complete the doctors were talking about birth control options and I was listening hella hard. But the pills make me sick and after 16 years of awesomeness, condoms are a definite nope. Which left the Mirena or a tubal. My doc highly recommended the IUD/Mirena and told me that she’s on her third one. I did my research, and about 2 months post-partum, I had that little devil inserted. I didn’t cry, but it wasn’t fun, with the needles in your cervix and the cramping and the excessive, sporadic bleeding that went on for months. But after all of that calmed down, it was pretty dope. We were finally living, y’all. The freedom... effing amazing. And then it started. It’s been two weeks now and every single night I’m awakened not just by a hungry Max, or a frightened Gia or a horny husband, but by REAL pain shooting from my left hip down to the sole of my foot. It’s horrible and apparently a common side effect. Hip and joint pain. Feels like arthritis. I’m getting this bitch out STAT. At first I thought maybe I had pulled something or it was left over pains from the pregnancy. But, nah. And it’s sooooo bad, y'all. It happens every night all night and also when I go from sitting too long to standing. I don’t have the weight gain or painful sex or cystic acne or loss of libido, but feeling like a 80 year old is not worth the delicious freedom it’s delivered. I’m getting it out on the 9th and have no idea what I’m gonna do.
Have you ever had Mirena? What was your experience like? What's your birth control method of choice?
from Natural Hair Care | Curly Nikki http://ift.tt/2wlZ12c
Last week, I stumbled upon an episode of 'The Disappearance of Natalee Holloway.' It was part of a new, six-part documentary that follows David Holloway as he searches for new developments in the disappearance and murder of his daughter, who took a trip to Aruba upon her high school graduation. It’s also a 12-year-old case with a vested community that equally seeks answers and justice for Holloway’s demise.
Continue Facebook commenter Susan Willis Updegraff writes, “Watched an update on the Natalee Holloway murder. The lengths to which her father has gone to find her remains is extraordinary and so tragic. All we can do is never go to Aruba for any reason. They don't deserve any benefits from U.S. tourists.”
Carole Ann Pigman, who describes Holloway as a “beautiful” young lady with such a “promising life,” pleas to dismiss her usual pastime of Sunday afternoon football to pray for the family of the 'smart, young woman who only traveled to the island to celebrate the beginning of a Pre-med education.'
But Crystal Constance Bey makes another point. She says, “They can investigate a missing person in another country but won't investigate all the missing black women here in America.”
It makes me wonder if Kenneka Jenkins – the 19-year-old woman who attended a party at the Crowne Plaza in Chicago just a few weeks ago, and whose lifeless body was found in the hotel’s freezer – family would receive the same level of attention.
Brittney Chardae brilliantly tweets:
While watching the Natalee Holloway documentary, I too, realized I hadn’t heard or seen anything new on television or social media so I googled Jenkins. The only recent news I could find is information on her public funeral, which is scheduled for Saturday. The facts leading up to her death are still a mystery.
I perform the same search on Facebook and visit the major media pages. There, against my better judgment, I click on the comments and subject myself to pure vitriol.
Jennifer Russell Peters attacks Jenkins' mom's parenting skills. “What a loving caring mom. First, she lets her daughter leave the house at 1130 and has no clue she's missing and now she's turning her daughter's funeral into a circus.”
“Mama looking for a payout?” adds Rori DeLaurentis, “[Jenkins] was drunk and walked into a freezer and passed out. It was her own fault! Tell Mama to get a job and stop causing commotion. It's annoying.”
The responses continue with freezer and Ringling Brothers jokes, dead horse memes and unnecessarily lame attempts to minimize and dismiss Jenkins.
The blatant lack of sympathy and pure disrespect for a black body and her family is appalling. It’s also rather interesting, read contradictory and hypocritical, how those who are the most vocal in victim-blaming and parent-shaming simply refuse to acknowledge the glaring similarities in both cases.
Like Holloway, Jenkins was celebrating a milestone, too: a friend’s birthday. They both partied with friends outside of home, and disappeared. The friends can’t exactly account for the missing women’s whereabouts after a certain point. The chronology of Holloway’s final hours is also sketchy. Rumors continuously interfere with the facts of her case and both cases seem to involve some level of foul play.
But the stark contrasts are that one victim is white while the other one is black, the public views one superior to the other and what’s considered untimely and tragic for Holloway is inevitable and deserving for Jenkins. It only reminds us that race often does influence law enforcement’s decisions, equality and justice for all is a myth, and to non-people of color, black girl magic is more dust than glitter.
Given the current racial climate, perhaps the infamous Facebook Live video showing Jenkins’ friends and a glimpse of Jenkins inside of their hotel room didn’t help any of the participants. It was hard for an empathetic viewer to watch and there seemed to be no real purpose for the footage. Unless it actually was recorded as a clue or some sort of alibi. There’s a bit of profanity, obvious underage drinking and some blunt-passing. It’s totally unfair but people judge us, even us.
Still by no means does it give anyone permission to deem a young black woman’s life as disposable. Her background or current lifestyle or image isn’t a valuation of her worth nor is it a definite indicator of a bleak future. I grew up in a rural community where most youth bypass college for the real world. When I was 18, I attended a nightclub that served alcoholic beverages, and I arrived home at 4 a.m. the morning after my birthday and I cursed and drank the night before too. The elders in my family didn’t know where I went and unless they read this piece, they still won’t know. But I still received a degree from a well-renowned university and within four years. The fact that Holloway partied hours before her death doesn’t preclude her potential but Jenkins is punished partly because four million viewers can easily witness part of her evening and mainly because she’s black. Never mind that Jenkins’ potential to become a doctor or nurse could’ve grown to easily surpass Holloway’s. We’ll never know that because neither is here to prove it.
But one's story continues to live on over a decade later while the other is killed in two weeks. Jenkins and all of our magical young black women deserve the same respect and recognition as Natalee Holloway and all of the young white women whose lives are unexpectedly cut short. This is why we mustn’t allow Kenneka Jenkins’ name to be tarnished and dismissed by those who feel any mention of it is a waste of precious breath. It’s up to us to be her vested community that continues to scream her name until she and her family receives due justice.
Are you familiar with the Kenneka Jenkins story?
Tee Elle is an east-coast storyteller hoping for her big break west. Her words have been published on xoNecole and Clutch magazine, but you can also follow her on Twitter (@pencilandchalk) and the blog at pencilandchalk.com. When she’s not writing or stalking social media, you can find her dreaming of LA, reading a great book, binge-watching reality TV, or pretending to be the next winner of Bravo’s Top Chef.
from Natural Hair Care | Curly Nikki http://ift.tt/2xI5o2J
Good morning, folks. With next week’s 
