By Tiffy Kink
When it comes to dating, I am a huge fan of three things: Openness, comfort, and communication. Openness, meaning nothing is off limits to talk about, comfort, meaning both parties in the relationship never feel as though they will be ostracized for having opinions that differ from the other party, and communication, being able to have an open-ended dialogue where we listen to one another not for the sole purpose of reacting to ones words but understanding them and asking one another to clarify ones point and hear each other out. While I do believe all three are encompassed in the word communication, I don’t believe that many people consciously apply openness and comfort into the dialogues they have with their partner.
So what does all of this have to do with dating someone who is into feet? A damn lot, that’s what.
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I’m always down for partaking in dialogues of the sexual nature when it’s appropriate. How you like it, when you like it, what position you like it in, past experiences, embarrassing sex stories, the greatest sex you had, the worst sex you had, and even fetishes. You see, I believe everyone has some type of sexual deviancy in them. They either haven’t found it yet, they choose to suppress it, or they proudly let their freak flags fly. I’m a pretty shy person myself so I really have to trust the person I get with to let them know the real me. Dig?
So when I started dating this guy. We had talked for a couple of months and when things got sexual, we started talking more and more about sexual interest. We had somewhat similar kinks, putting together a mental will, won't, want list of things we would consider in the bedroom. Nothing too crazy. Until we started talking about fetishes and he mentioned feet. Now before I go any further, you have to understand that I have huge interest in how arousal and seeking pleasure varies from person to person. I just find it so interesting.
So when he said he was into feet, I wasn’t disgusted or weirded out at all. I was admittedly perplexed yet excited. I started asking him when he knew he was into it. He said he had discovered the attraction as a kid. I was curious about what type of feet he liked and didn’t like. The conversation then turned to me, telling me that he liked my feet and thought they were hot. And before we go any further, yes he’s a brother, ladies. Fetishes are for all colors of the rainbow.
I asked him if he had ever acted out his fetish with someone in the past and he said no. That’s when I was truly confused. Of course I asked him why, to which he responded, “You’re actually the first person I ever told this to. You’re the person I feel the most comfortable talking to about it.” The feeling was mutual, as I had told him a lot of things about myself sexually that I would never dream of telling anyone I wasn’t serious with. I think that’s what made it easier to be more accepting of the idea of him sucking on my toes, which I had never until this point thought about.
Here’s the Montra: Of course, the first time we had sex, I wasn’t surprised when he brought it up, asking to suck on my recently manicured and clean toes. I will say that one thing I loved about him was that he always asked and never assumed that it was okay to try something new.
As he was looking at my toes, I could tell he was getting aroused, kind of turning me on a little as well. Like I was reacting off of his energy. He was breathing heavily while rubbing my feet which actually felt pretty nice. When he started to suck on my toes however, that took an interesting turn. Feeling a wet tongue on my feet felt really good. I had seen this meme that said the only reason women entertain having their feet sucked is because “It makes y’all p*ssies tingle.” It was right. For some reason, all the licking and sucking he was doing was going straight to my nether regions, making me wet and ready for some action. You can read more about that in
“True Story: The Best Sex I Ever Had Was an Unintentional Hook-Up.”
As we continued to date, I didn’t mind entertaining my partner's foot fetish, however, I found that my acceptance of it would backfire on me at times. He suddenly would always need to see my feet while we were having sex, which meant I would often contort myself into awkward positions where my feet were visible. Of course, this was all upon request. But the requests were frequent. I found myself being okay with it as it challenged my body and made me realize that I was more flexible than I thought. It also made me realize that I need to work out more. These old bones aren’t what they used to be. If we did the same position where I would have to bend my leg a certain way, I would always have a crook in my leg the next day. Not fun.
When we would hang out and I would have my feet out, I would be turning him on without realizing it. And it wasn’t because I assumed so. It was because he told me. I found myself making sure to keep my feet looking nice, even though they always did, because I enjoyed the unsolicited foot rubs I would receive whenever I went to his place. After telling me about his interest in feet, I asked him if he would ever consider working in a shoe store, to which he quickly said no because there would be too much stimulation around him.
After we broke up, I kind of missed the extra attention my feet were getting, but never actively sought out guys who had an interest in feet. I met only one other guy who was into it, but it’s not a requirement. The biggest thing I got out of the experience was being able to give someone pure joy and pleasure in such a unique way, which I strive to do when I can, and within my own limits of course. This is probably the freakiest thing I have done to date. Now that I’m thinking about it, that actually makes me pretty boring. I’m okay with that.
Have you ever tried something sexually you didn’t think you would like but then you did?
Tiffy kink is a New York-based Sex Blogger whose goal is to spread sex positivity and break down barriers for the sexually deprived and repressed through her blog posts and sex toy reviews where she not only talks about her interactions with sex and masturbation, but she also introduces her readers to body-safe sex toys and advice. If you like what you’ve read and would like to see more, visit her blog
Aquakink.com Follow her on Twitter @Theaquakink and Instagram @Aquakink
from Natural Hair Care | Curly Nikki https://ift.tt/2PJpLUz
Last week I covered the “low-carb” and mortality study, and for this week’s edition of Dear Mark I’m covering the (latest) coconut oil controversy. A Harvard professor recently launched a dramatic harangue against coconut oil, calling it “pure poison.” Is it true this time? Are we indeed killing ourselves?
Let’s find out:
Here’s what Shary’s talking about.
I won’t even talk about the Tokelau, a Pacific Island people who obtained most of their calories from coconut. Or the Kitavans, who ate a relatively low-fat diet but got most of their fat from coconuts. Both showed pristine metabolic health, and in the case of the Tokelau, they actually got incredibly unhealthy after switching from their coconut-rich diet to one rich in mainland foods, including seed oils.
Nor will I talk too much about the animal studies, most of which have found favorable effects on health as a result of eating coconut oil.
Let’s just focus on the human trials—the intentional studies in which actual living humans ate coconut oil and then underwent lab tests to determine the health effects. Concrete, objective effects. If coconut oil is as toxic as this Harvard professor claims, the evidence should be overwhelmingly negative. A Harvard professor would never misrepresent the evidence, right?
First, there is 2017’s Effect of a Diet Enriched with Fresh Coconut Saturated Fats on Plasma Lipids and Erythrocyte Fatty Acid Composition in Normal Adults. Healthy adults either added coconut oil or peanut fat to their diet for 3 months, and researchers examined how the different fat sources affected their biomarkers. Coconut oil increased HDL levels and the proportion of an anti-inflammatory lipid subfraction in red blood cell membranes. All told, coconut oil had a neutral to beneficial effect on health.
2017 also had Physical Form of Dietary Fat Alters Postprandial Substrate Utilization and Glycemic Response in Healthy Chinese Men. As far as coconut oil’s toxicity goes, this one was a dud. Whether the men ate coconut oil or sunflower oil made no difference in their metabolic response to meals (though when the fats were in gel form, there was an effect).
Oh, but this one sounds negative: Coconut Oil Has Less Satiating Properties Than Medium Chain Triglyceride Oil. Finally! We’ve found a kink. Unfortunately, this one isn’t bad for coconut oil either. Although MCTs proved more satiating than coconut oil, the latter was still more satiating than the control oil—vegetable oil. This is actually a strong counter to the Harvard professor’s main contention that coconut oil is bad because it’s so high in saturated fat; MCTs are pure saturated fat and performed very well here. Also, most MCT oil products come from coconut oil.
Next is The Impact of Virgin Coconut Oil and High-Oleic Safflower Oil on Body Composition, Lipids, and Inflammatory Markers in Post-Menopausal Women. There were no differences in body composition. Coconut oil raised total cholesterol, HDL, and LDL, but it was a wash. Both groups ended up with the same TC/HDL ratio (one of the best markers of overall heart health we have). One person had increased inflammation due to coconut oil, but most of the others had lower inflammation. Overall, though, the “impact of VCO and SO on other [inflammatory] cytokines varied on an individual basis.” The implication is that different people had different responses to the different oils. This is known, and it’s good to see researchers admit that people are different and the individual response arguably matters more than the statistical average of the responses.
In 2016, this came out: Postprandial serum endotoxin in healthy humans is modulated by dietary fat in a randomized, controlled, cross-over study. At first glance, it doesn’t look good for coconut oil. Compared to fish oil (which reduced it) and high omega-6 oil (which was neutral), coconut oil eaten with the meal increased the levels of serum endotoxin. Endotoxins are produced by bacteria in our guts and tend to increase systemic inflammation when they make it into our bodies. Coconut oil was pretty good at helping endotoxin make it past the gut and into the body. The good news is that this did not increase systemic inflammation—but keep in mind that these were “healthy humans.” An increase in serum endotoxins may have stronger effects on inflammation in unhealthy or obese humans. Another bit of good news is that pairing coconut oil with, say, fatty fish should mitigate any rise in serum endotoxins.
There’s also A Randomized Study of Coconut Oil Versus Sunflower Oil on Cardiovascular Risk Factors in Patients with Stable Coronary Heart Disease. The title tells it: patients with heart disease added either coconut oil or sunflower oil to their diets for two years. Researchers tracked basic risk factors and the number of “events,” or heart attacks. Despite people with actual heart disease eating the “worst” oil possible, “there was no statistically significant difference in the anthropometric, biochemical, vascular function, and in cardiovascular events after 2 years.” No difference.
Heck, according to 2016’s The Effect of Coconut Oil Pulling on Streptococcus Mutans Count in Saliva in Comparison to Chlorexidine Mouthwash, the coconut oil “myth” all the “experts” love to malign—that swishing coconut oil in your mouth can reduce harmful bacterial colonization—is actually true.
It’s obvious just from looking at these very recent studies, even some of the ones with negative or neutral effects, that coconut oil is far from poison. “Experts” do themselves no credit when they ignore and misrepresent the evidence like this.
Luckily, we can read for ourselves. And we can try for ourselves.
Thanks for reading, everyone. Thoughts on this coconut oil controversy—or other health related media hype? Other studies you’d like me to look at? Have a great week.
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